GE13 - The Public Sucks (Why i dont vote ! )

“…politicians…everybody complains about politicians…everybody says they suck! Well, where do people think these politicians come from ? They don't fall out of the sky…they don't pass through a membrane from another reality…they come from Malaysian parents, Malaysian families, Malaysian homes, Malaysian schools, Malaysian mosques/churches/temples,  Malaysian businesses and Malaysian universities, and they are elected by the Malaysian citizens….this is the best we can do folks..this is what we have to offer…its what our system produces…garbage in, garbage out…if you have selfish ignorant citizens, you are gonna get selfish ignorant leaders… and term limiting aint gonna do any good, because you are just gonna wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish ignorant Malaysians…so maybe…so maybe…maybe…maybe its not the politicians who suck…maybe something else sucks around here, like…the public….yeah, the public sucks ! ….”  

(Excerpts from a George Carlin stand-up, Malaysianised to suit our local context)

Analysis Paralysis

Plan for your future. Plan for your family. Plan for your career. Everywhere you go, everywhere you look, and every book and article you read, management courses for sure, will advise you on the importance of planning. We are now part of a society and culture who thinks too much about the future. We overplan and we overanalyse. We are too occupied about what will happen next. We are obsessed about the so-called important next steps. We fret about the future. We lose sleep over the belief of a bleak prospect. And as a result, we forget to live in the present. We ignore the beauty of the here and now. We neglect the things that truly matter to us. We forget about our life priorities. We plan, we wish, we dream, we desire and we hope and hope and hope for the very best. Hope, makes you hopeful. Hope makes you forget about the present. Hope makes you wish for the future. Hope makes you desire for the undesirable. Hope makes you dream for the unattainable. Hope makes you believe. Hope makes you convinced of the possibility. And hope, makes you leap for the impossible…..and leaving you hopeless when you drop, crushing every last bone in you, leaving you paralysed. Analysis paralysis. :)    

A Significant Nothing

I am sitting here in a cafe having my coffee and watching the morning crowd go by, everyone living their life, doing their own thing and as if oblivious to the bigger picture, not knowing that we must be a part of a small and insignificant entity that make up this bigger and significant cosmos . Everyone looks so different from each other. Some appear wealthier than the rest. Others appear to be struggling more than others. Did we choose to be the way we are now? We didn't choose to come to this world. We didn't get to choose our parents. We didn't get to pick our family members and we didn't choose to be born into this country. We certainly didn't get to choose our genes, let alone our social context. There are so many things about us that are just beyond our control and beyond our comprehension. The vastness of this cosmos is a mystery to the human mind and will forever be a mystery. And yet we say that we are in control of our lives. And yet we have the arrogance of claiming that we, as free human beings, are not subjected to anyone or anything. Have we failed to realize that we all have a past. A past that once began from a nothingness. And yet we know that nothing can emerge from nothing. It is an impossibility. But we did emerge from nothing. The cosmos emerged from nothing. But its funny how we still think that we are something. Something significant. Something that must be reckoned with. Something too significant to submit…..        

There is nothing wrong with our shools, just what happens afterwards!

Folks, you really have to check this out...i was completely surprised to see such absurdity coming from our so-called centre of excellence. Even a 12 year old would know better. Why a 12 year old you may ask? keep reading....

Now this first picture is proof that i have indeed referred to a UPSR-level examination paper.

Second image below is question number 17 in that particular UPSR-trial paper, which basically asked students to identify non-renewable energy sources from the list of four energy types provided (natural gas, petroleum, coal and biomass). Its quite clear that the answer is natural gas, petroleum and coal. Biomass is not the answer since it is obviously a renewable energy source. Most 12 years old would get this.

And now, lets see what our very own centre of renewable energy expertise has to say....this is something i got from the Sarawak Corridor of Renewable Energy (SCORE) website (you may check this out: http://www.sarawakscore.com.my/modules/web/)

You see folks, this is what happens when you decide to reject the official language for communicating scientific advancement. You get left behind...so far behind that even a 12 year old can see the obvious ignorance.

Conventional coal power plant is one of the dirtiest form of energy generation, but with newer technologies it can be made better. There are clean coal technologies that make coal power plants cleaner, especially with the use of carbon capture and storage. I can accept if we tout coal as a possible clean energy solution. And because we are now very dependent on gas and oil for electricity generation, i can also accept it if we say that coal is an alternative energy source. But to boldly and publicly imply that coal is a renewable energy source is just pure ignorance. We boast to the world about our SCORE initiative, trying to attract investors especially from abroad. And yet we say things like this....aiya, jatuh kemaluan!

The Malays,Chinese and Indians of Malaysia

You never stood in that man's shoes or saw things through his eyes
Or stood and watched with helpless hands while the heart inside you dies
So help your brother along the way no matter where he starts
For the same God that made you made him too
these men with broken hearts

A Scientist is an Ulama too !

Let me start by saying that this is in no way intended to disrespect anyone. Whilst I am a scientist by profession, this is not meant to insinuate that i am an ulama.. However i do feel that there is a lot of confusion in the word ulama and how it is currently being perceived. A scientist, by definition, is also an ulama...but then again, this is an academic excercise which has no bearing on anything! So here goes nonetheless....

1) In Arabic the word Ulama is the plural form of the word Alim, which has been derived from the word Ilmu. An Arabic dictionary will show you that the meaning of Ulama and Alim are as follows:

- Alim : expert, know all, past master, pundit, scholar, scientist…
(Ref: http://translation.babylon.com/arabic/to-english/#)

- Ulama: Scientist
(Ref 1: http://translation.babylon.com/arabic/to-english/)
(Ref 2: http://www.arabicenglishdictionary.org/)

It is very clear here that ulama or alim refers to someone knowledgeable and learned…the references I have quoted above specifically refers to scientists as the English equivalent to the word ulama…and besides, the word science itself is derived from the Latin word Scientia, which means knowledge.

2) So what does the Quran say about ulama? I have only been able to find the word Ulama once in the Quran, but I am not ruling out the possibility that it has appeared more than once.
Have a look at Surah 35, ayat 28, but for completeness please refer to 35 (27-28).
(Ref: http://www.searchtruth.com/chapter_display_all.php?chapter=35)

27
أَلَمْ تَرَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ أَنزَلَ مِنَ السَّمَاءِ مَاءً فَأَخْرَجْنَا بِهِ ثَمَرَاتٍ مُّخْتَلِفًا أَلْوَانُهَا ۚ وَمِنَ الْجِبَالِ جُدَدٌ بِيضٌ وَحُمْرٌ مُّخْتَلِفٌ أَلْوَانُهَا وَغَرَابِيبُ سُودٌ

28
وَمِنَ النَّاسِ وَالدَّوَابِّ وَالْأَنْعَامِ مُخْتَلِفٌ أَلْوَانُهُ كَذَ‌ٰلِكَ ۗ إِنَّمَا يَخْشَى اللَّهَ مِنْ عِبَادِهِ الْعُلَمَاءُ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزِيزٌ غَفُورٌ

Seest thou not that Allah sends down rain from the sky? With it We then bring out produce of various colours. And in the mountains are tracts white and red, of various shades of colour, and black intense in hue (27). And so amongst men and crawling creatures and cattle, are they of various colours. Those truly fear Allah, among His Servants, who have knowledge: for Allah is Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving (28)-
Translation by Yusuf Ali

See you not that Allah sends down water (rain) from the sky, and We produce therewith fruits of various colours, and among the mountains are streaks white and red, of varying colours and (others) very black (27). And likewise of men and Ad-Dawabb [moving (living) creatures, beasts], and cattle, are of various colours. It is only those who have knowledge among His slaves that fear Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Mighty, Oft-Forgiving (28)
Translation by Mohsin Khan

Tidakkah engkau melihat bahawa Allah menurunkan hujan dari langit, lalu Kami keluarkan dengan air hujan itu buah-buahan yang berlainan jenis dan rupanya; dan di antara gunung-ganang pula ada yang mempunyai jalur-jalur serta lorong-lorong putih dan merah, yang berlainan warnanya (tua dan muda) dan ada juga yang hitam legam (27). Dan demikian pula di antara manusia dan binatang-binatang yang melata serta binatang-binatang ternak, ada yang berlainan jenis dan warnanya? Sebenarnya yang menaruh bimbang dan takut (melanggar perintah) Allah dari kalangan hamba-hambaNya hanyalah orang-orang yang berilmu. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kuasa, lagi Maha Pengampun (28)
Translation in Bahasa Melayu

So what does the Quran say?
In ayat 28, the Quran says that only those with knowledge (ulama) would fear Allah.

And how do you become someone knowledgeable? The Quran says in 35 (27-28):

Don't you see (alam taraa):
- The creation of rain
- Production of fruits with a variety of colours
- Mountains with differing shades of colours
- The study of human beings
- The study of other animals and creatures

The above are descriptions of:
-Meteorologists
-Agriculturist/plant scientist/botanist
-Geologists
-Biologists/doctors
-Ecologists/ biologists/zoologists

These are descriptions of a scientist, which supports point number 1 above.

3) Now let us look at history… the ulama during medieval Islam were also successful scientists…Ibnu Sina, Ibnu Khaldun, Al-Khawarizmi , Al-Zarqali. etc….so I am not gonna spend much time explaining point number 3.

I am sure some people may disagree with me so please check your own references (Quran, dictionary etc) for more clarity and as always I stand to be corrected.

OWC - Enabler for a high income nation. Stop Whining People!

Whiners are loser. The Obedient Wives Club (OWC) is not all bad. People sometimes complain without knowing the finer details. You see, the OWC was actually introduced as an effort to boost the country’s economic standing. So open your hearts and minds my friends for I am about to share with you an important discovery.

You see…when Pemandu first came up with the Economic Transformation Plan (ETP), they identified 12 national key economic areas (NKEAs) that can have material contribution to the country’s economy. These 12 areas are the focus areas that will help transform the country into a high-income nation by 2015. But unfortunately, Pemandu has actually missed out on another key economic sector….an economic activity that has been in existence for the longest time known to mankind…. Prostitution…the trade of human flesh.

To make up for the lost of time, the OWC has been entrusted with the responsibility to train more women to be first class expert in engineering bedtime fun for men. The OWC will mass produce word-class talents with skills necessary to compete globally. And I have not the slightest doubt that with the determination and support of OWC, we will produce first class prostitutes. Indeed, we are already looking to expand into Singapore, so buckle up fellow Malaysian, or we may lose out to our kiasu neighbor. We need to make sure that there will be a high demand for our domestic goods!

Some of you may be having doubts right about now. Well keep reading for your benefits. You will need to be prepared for what is coming our way.

Malaysia has had a number of good and perhaps less good finance ministers. Let’s face facts. Of all these finance ministers, there is one that stands out. One that has been heralded by many for his extraordinary competencies. One that has led Malaysia through the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis. Yes, that's him my friend. We are talking about the one and only brader Anwar. Brader Anwar is known for his foresight ability. A prophetic ability that has allowed us to outsmart the IMF and to outcompete other developing economies. So for once my fellow friends, let’s just put our differences aside and take heed of his expert opinion on this.

...and what has he said so far, I hear you ask?

Come on, think people…think …remember China Dolls? You see…he has indeed shown us the way…China dolls is the way of the future. He sacrificed his political career, his family, all just to show us the way into the future. China dolls will be the next trading currency. He had long foreseen the slowing down of the US currency, and he knows that the Euro-zone debt is no where close to being resolved. So we can’t rely on the USD…we can’t rely on Euros…and the Dinar emas hasn't really taken off…so we need, desperately if I may add, a new currency…and seeing that China has been heralded as the next economic super power, it only makes sense to use China dolls. Smart eh?! And you people say that the poor brader Anwar is only into it for the kinky-fun. Shame on you!

But you know… Malaysians are really a bunch of smart people…think about it... even the Chinese don't realize it yet. We Malaysians are so advanced that we have not only recognized the importance of human-flesh trade as a key economic activity, we have also established a new and legal training institution to provide the necessary education to up-skill our women in preparation for the imminent economic revolution. In fact, I believe we are soooo very well planned that this will tie in very well with the halal-industry idea that was started not too long ago. The one and only first-class halal Malaysia-dolls! Bravo Malaysia!

We saw a gap in the global economy, and we have taken a very bold step to be in the forerunner. We are creating a new market space and making competition irrelevant. Harvard strategists will call this a blue-ocean strategy indeed. And with this Mr Prime Minister, you have my confidence that we are on track towards achieving a high income nation by 2015. Brilliant!

p.s. No malice or offence intended. The above writing is not true. This is purely satirical.